|I started to touch up this pic but the breakout and gray roots peeking through tell a tale.|
I have some thoughts - ramblings if you will.
Is anyone else finding themselves feeling very emotional, sentimental, grateful, remorseful, etc.? I do feel over-whelmed in a lot of ways, but I am very thankful for the privilege that I have to be working from home. To still be receiving a paycheck during this time is a tremendous blessing and I pray that it continues.
I stepped into a store for the first time in almost a month on Saturday and I walked out about five minutes after walking in without purchasing a thing. I've been on a bit of an obsessive search for paper products. I've been able to find some online and I'll continue grocery shopping online until that is no longer an option. I placed a Kroger order a couple of weeks ago and I accidentally placed it at the wrong store so I cancelled that order - on the day that order was originally planned to be picked up I received a call that my order was cancelled. The young lady wasn't aware that I had cancelled the order and she was tasked with calling all the cancelled orders because they are unable to fill 90% of the orders they are receiving. She was almost in tears! Retail workers holding us together - I see you!!
In many ways this feels surreal - is this actually happening? Are we actually being ordered to stay home to avoid contact with others - can we actually not find toilet paper? Have small business owners been forced to close their doors and are other businesses still operating at such a high risk? It's a lot to take in. Small business owners, those who have lost their job, those who depend on tips, beauty industry, special events planners/staff, etc. - I see you!!
We have always been very blessed to have David's Mom so involved in Kambree's life - she has been a great source to give us a little break and really love on Kambree. We sure do miss those breaks right now - let me tell you that if we could fast-track adopt Kambree a sibling right now we'd do it. This is something that we have long considered but we haven't acted on - parents with a young single child at home can likely relate. Guess who is present for all the "watch this" - one of us all day everyday. Grandparents missing their Grandbabies - I see you!!
One of the things that has been so touching to me is watching how hard the Educators are working! They are doing this thing - they kicked in during our Spring Break and created an entire system where there was no system. We have received phone calls and countless messages - the Zoom interaction alone is so good. One morning one of the Teachers listened to the kids talk for an hour about all their different pets and she participated like there was nothing more interesting. I've been moved to tears many times. Educators getting us through this school year - I see you!!
I'm well aware of my privilege as I type this - have all the other kids lost the ability to get full from any meal? Kambree asked me for Ramen Noodles at 9:30 last night and I almost lost my mind. I made a decent dinner then she had two pieces of pizza later because she was starving but the noodle request almost pushed me over the edge. She ate some cereal and we all made it another day. There was one day that I prepared her some type of food every single hour that she was awake and that is a lot of hours!
Speaking of a lot of hours - the shelter in place order does seem to extend the length of the day. I haven't slept well for a few weeks and it sure makes the day seem longer. When we finally get Kambree down for the night I'm pretty much wiped out. Even though I'm home all day the work day does seem to last longer - there are more breaks during the work day than there would normally be. Many days I have worked until after 8:00pm because I just have to get it in where I can.
I had three Zoom meetings today (four if you count Kambree's and it should definitely count). I have three monitors at home and we haven't been able to get them set up to Zoom so David rigged our laptop up on a ladder behind my monitors so that I could Zoom and still access all monitors. My walls are white - not sure why they look yellow. Note: the white wall sentence is so that years from now when I look back on this I won't wonder why we had yellow walls.
I wanted to pop in with a few random thoughts. I feel like we are all in this together but I do wish everyone would really do the thing that we are being asked to do. I was out Saturday because of work and I know going to the store is a necessity - there are lots of necessities. Take care of your business but then get home.
I don't know when I'll get back on but maybe I'll sleep better tonight since I released these thoughts from my brain. Stay well!